


That's okay

by livesybaby



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Coming Out, First Time, First Times, M/M, PWP, Robert is bi and proud, Smut, Sort-of friends era, Young Robron AU, porn with a cute plot tbh, young!robron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 01:55:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15402405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livesybaby/pseuds/livesybaby
Summary: Aaron's life revolves around denying the fact that he's totally into Robert.





	That's okay

_I know you fancy me_ Robert’s saying and he’s trying to drown out the velvety tone in his voice but it’s not working and though he knows he could deck him and leg it out the back door he can’t bring himself to shove him away, he’s fascinated by the feeling of Robert barely pressed up against him but close enough to make the air thick and hot and his cock stir in his boxers. He’s embarrassed when Robert notices, blushing furiously and trying effortlessly to move him out of the way so he can run out of the door and never come back but Robert’s taller than he is and in some ways he’s stronger and there’s a part of Aaron that doesn’t want to fight back, just wants Robert to make him feel the way he needs to feel. 

_don’t be shy_ Robert breathes against his ear, and he’s denying is furiously until he’s blue in his face and he’s rambling on about not being gay and then Robert’s tugging at his hand and pushing it down until he guides him into cupping his hardened crotch and he’s grinning because _it’s okay, you’ve got me going as well_ but Aaron’s freaked out and he’s not ready for this and he’s not sure he ever will be so he bolts it out of the door and legs it up to the top field at the back of Butler’s. 

He sleeps with Holly Barton. 

She’s his best friends sister and he knows he’s crossed a line but she’s showing an interest and he’s hoping she’ll satisfy the urge that Robert’s awoken in him. He fucks her on her lilac bedsheets and though he knows he’s painfully inexperienced she seems to be enjoying herself and that makes him feel good, like he’s doing something right for a change but he can’t help but feel disappointed that it wasn’t like his mates had hyped it up to be, he’s got a sinking feeling in his stomach while he’s redressing himself and Holly’s rolling a cigarette and he smokes until the numb feeling dulls down. 

Robert’s watching telly when he gets home, he doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t have to anyway because Robert knows, can tell just by looking at him that he’s given himself away and Aaron swears he can see the slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips because he knows he isn’t satisfied, knows that he’s still needy and wanton and a quick shag with a local bird wasn’t ever going to get rid of the urge. He lies about an early night and spends the next few hours awake in the darkness of his room pondering where his life when wrong and why he can’t just be like the other lads. 

His Mum reckons he’s hungover the next morning, has a little giggle about it with Diane and Aaron doesn’t mind letting them believe what they want because the truth is he’s spent half the night staring at the ceiling because he’s fucking petrified of the way he feels. Robert is unusually quiet, he’s not ignoring him - Aaron knows that for a fact because if he was he wouldn’t be sliding his socked foot against Aaron’s ankle and giving Aaron a reason to rush off to his shift at the garage because _Cain wants me in early_ and not because Robert’s making him feel things he shouldn’t. 

His shift at the garage is an absolute nightmare meaning Aaron’s got to stay for a couple of hours overtime to get the backlog of work finished because he’s _been away with the fairies half the day_ according to Cain. He’s sitting in the drivers side of a shitty little Corsa with his head against the backrest because he’s just so done with everything and he needs time to breathe. The sound of the garage door, and then passenger side door opening startles him from his day dream.

Robert invites himself into the opposite seat, a curious look on his face as Aaron starts going on about how _Cain could walk in at any moment_ and _Robert, you can’t be here_. But before he knows it Robert is sweet talking him and reassuring him that Cain is two-pints down in the Woolpack and no one’s going to disturb them and _can you just relax for five minutes?_

Aaron’s hyper-aware that he’s shuffled in closer, can feel his breath tickling the side of his neck and though he should remove himself from the situation he can’t bring himself to make his legs work and he’s not sure he wants to, curious to see how far Rob can push him and how far his body will let him. _You want me to stop?_ Robert offers quietly, his fingers slowly unfastening the buttons on his blue overalls _Just say the word, Aaron_. 

The word doesn’t come because Aaron’s too focused on the cool air filtering through his thin t-shirt as Robert opens up his overalls and exposes his clothes underneath. He’s slow and Aaron’s grateful but the curiosity in him is begging Robert to hurry up because he needs to know if this feels better than what Holly did or if he’s just desensitized from everything normal in the world. 

He’s breathing heavily, eyes focused through the wind-shield as he waits for Robert to undress him enough. He can tell Robert is being patient, stalling himself in case he flips but here’s Aaron wishing he had the guts to just crawl into his lap and let him do whatever he pleases because he needs this now, needs to know what Robert’s hands feel like against his bare skin. 

Roberts fingers dip slowly beneath his waistband and Aaron’s breath hitches in his throat and his eyes flick down because he’s braver now, needs to watch as Robert toys with him. He pushes his hand all the way down and it’s warm against Aaron’s semi, his fingers wrap around him easily and he pulls him out of his underwear, exposes his most private part and Aaron should feel a bit embarrassed but Robert groans lowly in his ear and he sounds impressed and pleased and Aaron’s cheeks are turning pink and he feels _good_. 

Robert’s hand doesn’t take long to pick up a rhythm, skilful and expert and well-practised and Aaron’s fully hard by now, cock straining against the inside of Robert’s fist and his erratic breathing isn’t from nerves any more it’s from trying not to orgasm embarrassingly quickly and fighting the urge to buck up into Robert’s fist. He’s got his lips against Aaron’s ear, whispering sweet nothings and pleading with him to _just let go_ and he’s not sure if it’s Robert’s smooth talking or the sudden flick of his wrist but almost immediately he’s spilling over Robert’s fingers and a strangled moan escapes his throat and he’s pretty sure he blacks out momentarily. 

When he opens his eyes Robert is back on his side of the car, sitting sideways with his back pressed against the steamed up window as he licks cum from his fingers, never breaking eye contact with Aaron who just stares gob-smacked because it’s either the most boldest or weirdest thing Aaron’s ever seen another man do but either way it’s making saliva pool underneath his tongue as he watches with his lips parted and Aaron wants to cum again right this second just to watch Robert’s tongue trace through it all. 

They don’t talk about what happened at the garage and they barely see each other for a few days out of pure coincidence but Aaron’s unsure whether he’s served his purpose now, whether Robert’s had his fill and has finished playing with him now, Aaron’s not sure he’s ready to let go. His answer comes a few days later when the second step from the top of the stairs creaks under Robert’s clumsy feet. Aaron’s sacked off college for the morning and his Mum’s at the wholesalers so there’s no one to reprimand him for spending too much time on FIFA, only then Robert’s inviting himself through the doorway and Aaron let’s a goal in but he doesn’t care because Robert’s wearing that shirt he likes and Aaron’s staring shamelessly. 

Robert says something cocky about getting him all to himself but Aaron’s too far gone thinking about how Robert’s kicked his shoes off and crawled onto the bed next to him. He doesn’t have much time for his mind to wander because before he knows it Robert’s got his mouth on his neck and he’s letting himself be lowered onto the bed and the feel of Robert’s weight on top of him and his tongue dragging against his throat is making him moan quietly and he doesn’t care about the consequences. 

He takes some form of initiative, suddenly finds any ounce of bravery he has and lets his shaky fingers find the buttons on Robert’s shirt, unfastening them clumsily as tongues at his pulse, he’s certain he’ll be bruised and tender but he doesn’t care, the sensation of Robert’s lips and teeth on his skin is incredible. He lets Robert undress him, doesn’t dare look up into his eyes as he does so - scared that he’ll bottle it if he sees the look in Robert’s eyes, wonders if he’ll be disappointed in his naked self or as in awe as Aaron is, trying not to stare too much at the smooth planes of Robert’s torso. 

Aaron’s fingers tangle in the soft hairs at the nape of Robert’s neck, he let’s himself be thrown onto his back, pinned down by Robert’s muscular arms and littered in goosebumps from the brush of Robert’s lips against his chest. He lets a soft whimper escape from his lips as Robert takes a nipple between his teeth, rolls it around before sucking gently - elongating it within seconds and making Aaron shiver. 

His hands are skilled, expertly skimming down the sides of Aaron’s torso until they’re on his hips, fingers digging into the flesh as Robert grounds his crotch down and they can feel the wet slick of their pre-cum mixing together. _Touch me, Aaron_ he breathes against his neck, guiding Aaron by the wrist until his shaky hand grips his cock loosely, sliding up and down with only his own masturbation techniques to go by but it’s enough for Robert, he can tell by the way he’s moaning, his warm breath tickling his earlobe and forcing him to clamp down on his lower lip to hold back his own sound effects. 

Robert’s prepared and Aaron expects nothing less so he’s hardly surprised when he tosses a strip of condoms and a bottle of lubricant onto the pillow next to him, it doesn’t ease the butterflies in his stomach but he knows Robert knows what he’s doing, trusts him even. He’s not naive, he’s watched enough dodgy porno films to know why Robert’s got the pads of his fingers rubbing against his rim but it doesn’t stop him tensing up, the nerves making him feel queasy though Robert’s soothing words are helping him relax. 

He can’t deny that it feels nice to have Robert’s hands on his arse, it’s unexpected when the first finger sinks past the ring of muscle but though he clenches at first he allows himself to relax, eases himself into it and suddenly the intrusion is making him groan, the warm feeling in his stomach making his cock leak pre-cum all over himself and he can’t bring himself to care, not when Robert’s got those long, fucking fingers working him open. 

It takes a while but soon Aaron’s pliant enough to have three fingers buried deep in his arse, moaning freely as Robert twists and turns, curls them against the sensitive spot that Aaron just can’t get enough of, can’t stop himself from sighing his name and a flurry of profanities and _please don’t stop_ ’s. He whimpers from the emptiness as Robert pulls his fingers free, he’s about to protest until he realises Robert’s sliding a condom over his cock and suddenly he’s nervous again because Robert is fucking huge and he can’t imagine how on earth he’s going to fit inside him but Robert’s got that calming, velvet voice again and Aaron trusts him, he believes him because Robert knows how to make him feel good. 

It hurts at first, enough to make his eyes water and Aaron can’t imagine why anybody would put themselves through this pain but Robert’s telling him to _Relax_ and _Just hold on_ and Aaron trusts him enough to listen, just closes his eyes and focuses on the sensation of Robert’s fingers trailing up and down his sides and the goosebumps they leave in their wake. The sting begins to subside and the burn becomes a bearable heat before finally melting into something pleasurable and _good_ and Aaron can’t hold back the loud moan that falls from his lips as his eyes roll back. 

Robert rocks his hips at first, testing the waters as he watches in awe as Aaron’s head flings back and his mouth falls ajar, the steady groans coming from his lips enough permission for him to bring his hips back and thrust back in with more meaning. Aaron’s tight and hot and the way his fingers are bruising into Robert’s biceps is enough to throw the older man over the edge because this is all so _new_ and Aaron’s like his new favourite toy and he’s enjoying being the one to take him apart piece by piece, wants to ruin him, wreck him, wants his name to be the one on his lips when he ticks over for the first time. 

The fact that Aaron comes embarrassingly quickly doesn’t make things awkward because without warning Robert’s closely following him, forehead slamming against his chest as his arms give way and Aaron’s got his strong arms wrapped around him and Robert can’t help but think that he should be the one holding him but he goes with it, quite enjoys the overwhelming feeling of being cradled in his arms. The air is thick and stifling and filled with the smell of sex and the sounds of laboured breathing, they’re gelled together between a sheen of sweat and cum and if Robert wasn’t fucking exhausted he’d persuade him to go again because neither of them can get over the fact that it was so intense and erotic and they just can’t get enough of one and other.  
Aaron’s glad when Robert sticks around, isn’t sure how he’d feel to be sleeping alone with all those thoughts swarming in his mind. He supposes he’s gay now, and he probably knew it well before he shagged Adam’s sister and even before he met Robert, but that’s what set it in concrete, the knowledge that Robert _a man_ could make him feel _everything_ in just a few gentle touches and breathless whispers. He falls asleep in his arms, with his head on his chest and his heartbeat in his ear - he can’t help but think it’s like one of those rubbish chick-flicks that his Mum and Katie watch but he also can’t bring himself to care, too lost in the vibrations of Robert’s fingertips trailing up and down his spine. 

They’re boyfriends now, or at least Aaron thinks they are and Robert doesn’t correct him - they haven’t told anyone, content enough with their own sordid secrets of what happens after-hours in Aaron’s bedroom and not really caring what anybody else would have to say about it though there’s a niggling in the back of Aaron’s head that he thinks his Mum and Cain wouldn’t be best pleased about the fact he’s shagging, well - _being shagged by_ a bloke most nights lately. 

He’s more confident now it’s all settled in, thinks nothing of dragging Robert behind the garage for a sly kiss and his hands on his arse, he’s still rubbish at the whole talking side of things but they don’t need to verbalise to know what the other one wants, Robert’s quite good at reading Aaron like he’s a book and he never gets shy of telling Aaron exactly what he wants him to do to him. 

They end up in the Woolpack toilets on New Years Eve, it’s dangerous and wouldn’t be surprising if someone had seen Aaron tug at Robert’s shirt sleeve fifteen minutes before but Aaron’s had _a lot_ of shot glasses against his lips and he’s feeling more than a bit tipsy and really fucking brave. Robert lets himself be led into the cubicle, amused at the sudden confidence from his boyfriend and a little more than a bit drunk himself. It’s messy and clumsy but once the door has been locked it’s only a few seconds before Aaron’s got his mouth on his and his hands on his belt buckle. 

His jeans are pushed down to his thighs in one quick swoop and Robert’s about to complain about the cold air but his words get stuck in his throat when he watches Aaron sink to his knees, looking up at him with his bottom lip between his teeth and a cheeky wink in his left eye. His hands find his hair instantly, threading through the dark curls, free from gel tonight because Robert asked so nicely. He’s tugging and rough but it’s okay because Aaron likes that, he knows he does because he moans wantonly every time he does it. 

His mouth is hot and wet, tongue thick against the underside of his cock and cheeks hollowed as he pulls on and off, never breaking eye contact. The buzz of the bar filters through the room as the outside door opens, the sound of a zipper and someone using the urinals making Robert’s eyes shoot back to Aaron but he’s brave tonight, _remember?_ so Aaron carries on, praying that the stranger is too drunk to spot his Nike’s peeking from under the door. 

Robert’s got his hand over his mouth trying desperately to conceal any involuntary sounds but Aaron seems intent on testing his self-control, sucking on his tip like a lollipop and coating his tongue in pre-cum while his rough fingers push past his balls and rub against his perineum. He takes him to the back of his throat, hitting against it with force - testing out the gag-reflex that Robert’s spent so much time training, he’s got talent - knows he has - they both know it and Robert never gets bored of telling him. 

The man leaves without disturbing them and Robert’s grateful but he knows it doesn’t mean they haven’t been spotted - just that the bloke is too drunk, embarrassed or disgusted to confront them. The whole idea of being caught just spurs him on and before long he’s tapping Aaron on the shoulder with two fingers to warn him but Aaron’s having none of it, too far gone in teasing him and desperate to see how far he can push him. He sinks his middle finger into Robert’s hole, the dry burn enough to tip Robert over the edge and have him spilling over into Aaron’s mouth, coating his tongue and throat in white hot cum as Aaron sucks him thirstily, Robert’s thighs quivering as he overcomes his release. 

They kiss afterwards, Robert tasting a mixture of himself and cheap lager on Aaron’s tongue, their hands bunched up in each other clothes not wanting to break the moment but simultaneously wanting to sack off the pub party and sneak off to Aaron’s room for round two. They filter back into the crowd and it’s almost like no one’s noticed until Aaron catches his Mum’s eye over the bar across the room, she’s got that knowing look in her eye that she gets when he’s been caught out, usually nicking beers from the fridge, not with his mates cock buried as far down his throat as it can get. 

He doesn’t give her the opportunity to question him but he knows it will come eventually, he can’t hide and he knows that now - knows that the next year is going to be one full of awkward questions and admissions and he feels ready for it now, not like he did six months ago. Robert doesn’t catch the Mother-Son glances, he’s too busy rambling on about the New Year countdown and joking about _did you get everything you wanted this year?_ and Aaron’s looking at him in a new light and he can hear the faint _10.. 9.. 8.._ in the background as his eyes rake over his face nervously.

 _Not quite_ he admits, a curious smirk on his face as he watches Robert’s oblivious expression. He waits for the iconic _3.. 2.. 1.._ and then bites the bullet and grabs Robert by the back of his neck, pulls him in close until he can’t help but push their lips together, maybe too much teeth at first but soon they melt into their familiar kiss, soft and loving and Robert’s lower lip sucked into his mouth. He can hear the cheers around them die down with the _Happy New Year_ ’s and then Victoria’s tell-tale gasp as she clocks eyes on them, still going for it like there’s no one else in the room.

Aaron’s blushing, can feel it as he pulls away and Robert just looks mesmerised, like that was the last thing he’d expected anyone, least of all _Aaron_ to do but he looks happy, young, free - and Aaron can’t get enough of it. _Finally found a way to shut you up_ he murmurs fondly, letting his hand fall to Robert’s lap and their fingers entwine together comfortably. He chances a look back towards the bar and his Mum’s watching him with a knowing smirk, she’s pleased - he can tell that even through the drunk haze from the other side of the room - and that’s all that matters to him, no one else’s reaction means a thing. 

They crawl into Aaron’s bed that night and though it’s a regular thing nowadays it feels brand new, like this is the fresh start they both needed and there’s no secrets and they’re just them, they’re together and that’s all there is to it. It’s a new year and a new life and Aaron’s about to start it as the man he wants to be and the man he wants to be with is cuddled into his side right where he should be. It’s euphoric and incredible and mesmerising all in one, and he’s gay - he can finally say it out loud - he’s gay and that’s okay.


End file.
